To make healthier decisions, we can’t simply state that we are going to begin making healthier decisions. We must come up with and implement a plan for doing so. In turn, we will reap the many benefits of living well and warding off mental illnesses like depression and anxiety. So, let’s get started. Here are a few guidelines that will help us reach our goal:

1.     Hydrate!

Water is one of life’s essentials, yet the majority of us don’t drink enough of it. To ensure your body is always hydrated and replenished, make it your mission to drink at least 8-ounce glasses of water a day.

2.     Improve your sleep hygiene.

Another essential many of us neglect: sleep. Sleep requirements vary from person-to-person, depending largely on age and lifestyle, but most need at the very lease 7 hours each night to function properly. Check your sleep needs with the National Sleep Foundation and ensure your habits align.

3.     Move for at least 30 minutes a day.

If you aren’t currently exercising, doing so for 30 minutes a day might sound like a huge commitment. But, it doesn’t have to be! Chances are, you’re already getting in 30 minutes of physical activity a day. For instance, doing chores around the house and playing with your dog.

4.     Fill your plate with color.

This is another good general rule of thumb. If you make it your goal to keep your plate colorful, you are more likely to eat nutritious foods, such as fruits and veggies. And you’ll avoid the bland-colored, highly-processed ones.

5.     Be kind to yourself.

Lastly, take some time out of your day to show yourself some love! Say some positive affirmations in the mirror, like “I’m awesome,” or, “Today’s going to be a great day.” Take a well-deserved bubble bath, buy those shoes you’ve been eyeing. Whatever makes you feel good!

If you know you’re taking care of your mental and physical health, but you’re still feeling depressed, you might consider working with a depression therapist. A depression therapist can help you understand as well as manage this illness. The counselors at Thriveworks are here and able to help you.

Breakups, whether it was your decision to split or not, are never fun. In fact, they’re the opposite of fun. They are often emotionally, mentally, even physically exhausting. And yes, they can make you feel depressed.

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Reactions to a Breakup

You’ll have to take a dive into your emotions to determine whether you’re having a normal reaction to a split from a boyfriend or girlfriend, or if you’re instead having an unhealthy reaction that needs medical attention. Normal reactions include:

• Intense feelings of sadness

• Anger and frustration

• Loss of interest in school or work

• Difficulty sleeping and focusing

If you’re familiar with depression, you might notice that the above bullet points are symptoms of depression. Well, they’re also completely normal reactions to a breakup, as long as they improve over time. You should be more concerned if at least five of the following bullet points align with your current state of being and persist for two weeks or longer, as it meets the criteria for depression and might mean that you’re depressed:

• Intense feelings of sadness or hopelessness

• Loss of interest in the things you love and enjoy

• Significant changes in weight and/or appetite

• Feelings of worthlessness or self-loathing

• Difficulty sleeping

• Changes in activity levels

• Fatigue or loss of energy

• Difficult concentrating

• Suicidal thoughts or ideation.

How to Heal Properly After a Breakup:

We’re at a higher risk of becoming depressed after a breakup, but the good news is that we can take action to heal properly during this tough time. Kayce Hodos, Licensed Professional Counselor, is an expert on the matter and knows just how difficult a breakup can be. “A breakup can feel like the death of a loved one—or even worse because the loved one chose to leave you,” she says. But that’s not to say that no good can come from a breakup. Hodos explains how to find solid ground, build yourself back up, and thrive moving forward:

1. Give yourself permission to feel what you need to feel. 

“Grieving over the end of a relationship is supposed to be hard, so giving yourself permission to feel what you feel is step one. Think of what you typically do to cope with stress and make those strategies your priority. You may just feel like curling up under your favorite fuzzy blanket, so allow some time for this, but then make an effort to move forward.”  

2. Focus on self-improvement. 

 “Think of some personal and/or professional goals that have been on the backburner, and identify some steps you can take to get closer to making them happen. Spruce up that resume, research that trip you’ve always wanted to go on, start visualizing how you want your life to look—even if you have to fake it a little. You aren’t there yet, and you don’t even feel like yourself right now, BUT you can use your imagination, and you do still have dreams.  

3. Reflect on what the relationship taught you.

“At some point, you will begin to feel better. As the wounds heal, reflect for a bit on what the relationshiop taught you. What did you learn about yourself? What are you now aware of in terms of what you want in your next relationship? Even relationships that end weren’t all bad. Honor the good times, and find value in the not-so-good ones.”

Authors: 

Anthony Centore Ph.D. is Founder and CEO at Thriveworks--a counseling practice, focused on premium client care, with 80+ locations across the USA. He is Private Practice Consultant for the American Counseling Association, columnist for Counseling Today magazine, and Author of How to Thrive in Counseling Private Practice. Anthony is a multistate Licensed Professional Counselor and has been quoted in national media sources including The Boston Globe, Chicago Tribune, and CBS Sunday Morning.

Taylor Bennett is a staff writer at Thriveworks. She devotes herself to distributing important information about mental health and wellbeing, writing mental health news and self-improvement tips daily. Taylor received her bachelor’s degree in multimedia journalism, with minors in professional writing and leadership from Virginia Tech. She has published content on Thought Catalog, Odyssey, and The Traveling Parent.

Depression is characterized by a deep sadness or low level of despair. Individuals with depression also experience a loss of interest or pleasure in day to day life. The remaining characteristics can vary and be mistaken for another illness entirely—like the flu. This makes distinguishing the difference between the two illnesses and their symptoms vital.

What Is Depression? What Are the Symptoms? 

Depression comes with a range of symptoms including behavioral, cognitive, and physical symptoms. For example:

• Intense feelings of despair

• Sleep disruption

• Hopelessness

• Guilt

• Fatigue

• Irritability

• Changes in weight or appetite

• Social isolation

• Loss of interest or enjoyment

These symptoms make depression a highly disruptive condition—mentally, emotionally, and physically. “It is a mental condition which not only has the potential to affect your mind, but also your body,” Caleb Backe, health and wellness expert, explains. “The stress and anxiety which accompany some types of depression may cause the body to react in a way which resembles physical illness.”

What Is the Flu? What Are the Symptoms?

Anybody who has ever had the flu knows that fatigue, changes in weight or appetite, and sleep disruption can (and often do) accompany this sickness—all of which are listed above as symptoms of depression. Additionally, “the emotions and moods which come with the territory of being sick with the flu can also be seen during mentally overwhelming times of stress,” says Backe. Think: irritability, loss of interest, even sadness or despair.

Here's a comprehensive list of flu symptoms:

• Runny or stuffy nose

• Muscle aches

• Headaches

• Fatigue

• Sore throat

• Vomiting

• Trouble sleeping

As we mentioned above, the flu can also have some harmful effects like changes in weight or appetite. 

So, Is It the Flu or Depression?

To meet diagnosis for depression, one must experience intense feelings of despair, a loss of interest or pleasure, and at least three other symptoms (determined by the DSM), for two weeks or longer. That said, the line that exists between the flu and depression can still appear blurry. And in either case you need to receive proper treatment. 

If you’re experiencing any of the aforementioned symptoms, go see your doctor for a proper diagnosis. “Determining the root cause of something is always best left to the professionals,” says Backe. “Self-diagnosing and self-medicating could be an issue with a subject matter this sensitive and fragile, so it is advised to seek care from a qualified provider.”

If you’re still unsure about getting that depression screening, here’s a list of factors that signify a need for doing so, as determined by Backe:

• When those around them are showing genuine concern for their mental wellbeing, due to your loss of interest, or your irritability

• When you find yourself unable to function properly due to your negative emotions, whether at work, outside, or at home

• When you’re not sleeping or eating right and are experiencing an “empty” and vacant feeling regularly

• When you’re having persistent thoughts of self-harm or suicide

Authors: 

Anthony Centore Ph.D. is Founder and CEO at Thriveworks--a counseling practice, focused on premium client care, with 80+ locations across the USA. He is Private Practice Consultant for the American Counseling Association, columnist for Counseling Today magazine, and Author of How to Thrive in Counseling Private Practice. Anthony is a multistate Licensed Professional Counselor and has been quoted in national media sources including The Boston Globe, Chicago Tribune, and CBS Sunday Morning.

Taylor Bennett is a staff writer at Thriveworks. She devotes herself to distributing important information about mental health and wellbeing, writing mental health news and self-improvement tips daily. Taylor received her bachelor’s degree in multimedia journalism, with minors in professional writing and leadership from Virginia Tech. She has published content on Thought Catalog, Odyssey, and The Traveling Parent.

Breakups—whether you’re the one who has initiated the split or not—aren’t fun. In fact, they’re the very opposite of fun: they’re emotionally, mentally, sometimes even physically taxing. And yes, they can even bring on bouts of depression.

Healthy Vs. Unhealthy Reactions 

There are healthy and unhealthy reactions to a breakup. And knowing the difference between the two will help you understand where you stand mentally and emotionally. So let’s break it down. Healthy reactions may include…

• Intense feelings of sadness

• Anger and frustration

• Loss of interest in the things you love

• Difficulty sleeping and focusing

If you’re familiar with depression, you might’ve noticed that the above bullet points are also symptoms of depression. Well, they’re also completely normal reactions to a breakup, as long as they continue to improve. You should be more concerned if at least five of the following bullet points align with your current state of being and persist for two weeks or longer, as it meets the criteria for depression and likely means you are depressed:

• Intense feelings of sadness or hopelessness

• Loss of interest in the things you love

• Significant change in weight or appetite

• Feelings of worthlessness or self-loathing

• Difficulty sleeping

• Changes in activity levels

• Fatigue or loss of energy

• Difficulty concentrating

• Suicidal thoughts

Avoid Depression and Heal Well after a Breakup

While we’re at a greater risk of becoming depressed after a breakup, the good news is that we can take action to steer clear of the darkness and heal properly.  Kayce Hodos, Licensed Professional Counselor is an expert on the matter and knows just how difficult a breakup can be. “A breakup can feel like the death of a loved one—or even worse because the loved one chose to leave you,” she says. But that’s not to say that no good can come from this tough experience. Hodos explains how to find solid ground, build yourself back up, and even thrive moving forward: 

1) Find solid ground:

“Grieving over the end of a relationship is supposed to be hard, so giving yourself permission to feel what you feel is step one,” Hodos explains. “Think of what you typically do to cope with stress and make those strategies your priority. You may just feel like curling up under your favorite fuzzy blanket, so allow some time for this, but then make an effort to move forward. Put on your favorite playlist and dance it out, call a trusted friend and go grab some comfort food, pick up that book you’ve had on your to-read list, but haven’t had time for, etc. Focusing on actions you can take that give you some control will help you feel grounded and empowered in the midst of your breakup.”

2) Build yourself up.

“Think of some personal and/or professional goals that have been on the back burner and identify some steps you can take to get closer to making them happen,” Hodos suggests. “Spruce up that resume, research that trip you’ve always wanted to go on, start visualizing how you want your life to look — even if you have to fake it a little. You aren’t there yet, and you don’t even feel like yourself right now, BUT you can use your imagination, and you do still have dreams. Do some writing about what is amazing about you! What have you accomplished? What are you proud of? Ask your most trusted friends and/or family members for help if you need it.”

3) Thrive.

“At some point (certainly not while the breakup is still fresh), you will begin to feel better,” says Hodos. “As the wounds heal, reflect for a bit (maybe even set a timer for 5 minutes to avoid getting lost in the black hole of regret) on what the relationship taught you. What did you learn about yourself? What are you now aware of in terms of what you want in your next relationship? Even relationships that end weren’t all bad. Honor the good times and find value in the not-so-good ones. Envision your new singlehood as an opportunity to be independent and fearless and look forward to your next relationship with healthy expectations for the kind of partner you want to be with. If you need help doing so, think about working with a counselor. They can help you work through those depressive feelings in addition to building yourself back up after a breakup.”

Hopefully, these tips will help you heal well after a breakup and avoid falling into a depressed state. If that’s not the case and you think that you’re depressed, consider working with a counselor who can offer individualized tips for living happily again after your breakup and managing your depression. 

Authors: 

Anthony Centore Ph.D. is Founder and CEO at Thriveworks--a counseling practice, focused on premium client care, with 80+ locations across the USA. He is Private Practice Consultant for the American Counseling Association, columnist for Counseling Today magazine, and Author of How to Thrive in Counseling Private Practice. Anthony is a multistate Licensed Professional Counselor and has been quoted in national media sources including The Boston Globe, Chicago Tribune, and CBS Sunday Morning.

Taylor Bennett is a staff writer at Thriveworks. She devotes herself to distributing important information about mental health and wellbeing, writing mental health news and self-improvement tips daily. Taylor received her bachelor’s degree in multimedia journalism, with minors in professional writing and leadership from Virginia Tech. She has published content on Thought Catalog, Odyssey, and The Traveling Parent.